Zumpty dumpty had a great fall – First Skiing experience

Disclaimer: The views expressed in the following lines are not to discourage anybody from trying skiing, but just keep in mind “somebody is gonna get hurt...real badly.....somebody”.  In this blog the uses of the word “F” is quite prevalent, but trust me when you try such recreational sport you will be screaming this word at the top of your lung for the days to come.  Due to explicit contents of this blog, please keep your id ready...:p

Last week I went for skiing for the first time, it was a fine and gorgeous day until I was asked to suit up for snowboarding. Yup I know what you guys are thinking; it is supposed to be skiing, wait for a second I started with snowboarding lessons first and I f... realized it is very hard
(hard remind me of a joke, which I am not going to share. My friend Alishia and Curtis know what I am talking about. Haha!).  So I switched to skiing.

It all started with my instructor telling me to walk around with ski board attached to my boots. It was fine until he told me to go up the hill walking side-ways. Half-way through I said “FML”, “L” being leg not what you guys are thinking, my life is good, it was just my leg that was fu...:p. Anyways, somehow I managed to climb the miniscule hill, instructor asked me to maintain “PIZZA” position. Oh C’mon guys this not the position you are imagining about, it is normal stance you have to maintain for skiing.

I was practicing this for the whole morning and in the afternoon my crazy little buddy “Greg” (why he is crazy that’s a different story altogether, some other time) encouraged me to try and run down the actual hill. I was motivated and pumped, I said f... let’s do it. I went along with another sweet friend “Shenaya” (she is damn good in snowboarding). We took the chair lift and I was enjoying the mesmerizing scenery and here comes the ramp where I have to get off the chair. Fu.. i slipped on the ramp and got up and slipped again, this lasted for a minute, finally I am able to maintain my balance.

Shenaya – c’mon Zishan you can do it. Let’s go down the green run and I said hell ya!   

I went down the hill nice and smooth for fu.... 5 seconds only and it started, I was rolling down the hill. Every fu.... 10-20 meter i fell on my ass since i was struggling to stop. I must admit there are few places where I covered at least 100-150 meters without falling down, that’s was so fu.... awesome.

I got up every time, thanks to Shenaya she was encouraging me and was waiting for me to roll down the hill every time and join her. One flip was so intense that I lost my ski boards and poles, I got up and my first reaction and words were “Mfu...”. I checked every bone in my body...neck ..checked..fine...knees and ankles....checked ..fine.....wrists...checked...fine... and finally some nice words came out of my the then filthy mouth “Thank God”. That was just temporary since my skiing instructor saw me from the distance and screamed “remember Pizza Zishan” I was so pissed I said fu.. you...and your fu.... pizza, talk to the fingers since he promised me a few more tips in the afternoon and never turned up for the same.   Finally I decided to walk down for the rest of the run since I hurt my bumpers and remember I am not a fat ass guy and has less cushion. :p “LMAO”

Wait it is not over yet....the fun part starts after a day or so, when you woke with sore everything, when I say everything i literally mean “everything”. I remember every time I have to go for poop, I screamed fu.......when I sat down on that hard pot ring. I spend most of my next day either standing or sitting on my ass with 2 pillows under it.

Oh man! My knees are still hurting, but it was so much fun and I will do it again, but will have to add more cushion on crash landing runway. I will try and keep fu.... “Pizza” position. I am so glad that I didn’t end-up with some serious injury to my ass, yup I am worried about my ass than any other part of the body. Haha!

Cheers my friends!!!!